Our Story
by aka-sunshine415
Summary: Jennifer Jareau is an intern at the BAU for a semester as she figures out what she wants to do with her life. Meeting Emily Prentiss, however, was not what she expected. Neither was falling in love with her. R & R please! JJ/Emily femslash
1. Our Story

I hear the door quietly close behind me as I leave her apartment for the last time. The familiar clicking sound and hiss of the frame as it moves together haunts me as I walk away, tears silently streaming down my face, blurring the familiar corridors. I stumble, then catch myself, gasping for breath. _I have to get out of here_ _before I break_. I never expected it to end like this…I never expected it to end. But it has, it ended and I can't breathe. I nearly fall again, stumbling down the too-familiar stairs and, too soon, I'm at the front door. _Am I really leaving? Is this really the last time I'll ever walk through these doors? _I pause, daring myself to stay just a moment longer, aching to hear her voice calling me back – calling me home. But it doesn't come, as I knew, deep down, that it wouldn't.

Tears are making permanent marks down my cheeks and yet I remain silent, fearing anybody hearing, anybody seeing me this broken. And I am, I'm already broken and I know it. I can feel my insides churning against me, fear and regret eating me alive. But I can't turn back. I have to walk through these doors, because she's not coming after me. She gave me her decision, spelt it out to me, and knew I had no choice but to walk away. _Did she hope I'd change my mind? She had to know I needed this to be real._ Once again, I hear the doors clicking shut, frames sliding noisily together. Once again, this sound spurs on my tears and gasps for breath and once again, I stumble, catching myself against the side of my car. _It's over._

* * *

The drive home was a blur. I remember lights and sounds, but can't place them. I don't even remember the streets I passed or the turns I made, or how I did it all while crying hysterically. I don't know how I made it back alive.

That night was a blur too. That night, and most of the next day. Nothing seemed important, nothing was important, except for the fact that the love of my life told me she wasn't ready. I know I cried – there's no doubt about that. How I managed to stop crying is what truly amazes me. How I managed to pick up the phone and hold a conversation for an extended period of time without breaking down all over again seems impossible. And yet, somehow, I did.

There was a point where I became numb, too. There had to have been or I never would have been able to survive.

I'm glad I didn't bring much with me when I moved here. I knew it would only be a few months from the beginning, but I'm known to over pack, as most females are. And packing itself seems unimportant, where things end up, what they get mixed with. All I know is I have to be gone. I have to be gone before she knows and tries to stop me because if she did, if she tried, I know I would give in. I always was unable to resist her, and if she came here asking me to stay, I would be completely helpless. _Love and devotion don't fade that fast. I'm still in love with her. I think I always will be. _

I can't even bring myself to say goodbye to the rest of the team. I should, I know I should, but they would ask questions. They would ask questions and I would break down, and they would tell her. And then I would stay, I know I would because I know her. I know she would come and beg me not to go. And I would stay.

I will miss them though. Through everything that's happened, they've become my family. Every last one of them.

* * *

The last box is packed. Everything is waiting for me in my car, my landlord expecting the keys back. I look around one last time, numbly searching for anything I may have left behind, and memories come flooding into my conscious. The numbness is gone in an instant, replaced by searing pain and clawing nausea. I remember her waiting for me, naked in my bed. Her leaning against the doorframe, wearing only a towel and smiling at me, beckoning me forward. I open the bathroom door and she's leaning over the sink, brushing her hair. Then she's in the shower, pressed up against the wall, kissing me like tomorrow will never come.

Downstairs is the same. I see her everywhere. Sitting on my couch watching movies, in front of the fireplace surrounded by pillows and sheets. Then she's in the kitchen making me coffee, cooking me dinner, naked on the counter, head thrown back and screaming my name. And everywhere else in my apartment, taunting me, hurting me, and yet loving me all at once.

It's Sunday evening. The team will be back together tomorrow, writing up reports and waiting on another case. I won't be there. I should be, but I won't. I'll be far away, where I can start healing the shards that have become my heart. I'm afraid of the numbness, afraid and glad for it all at once. It means I won't have to feel, I won't have to hurt. It also means I won't be able to heal – not that I think I would be able to anyway.

* * *

My name is Jennifer Jareau. My name is Jennifer Jareau and all I can do right now is hurt. I fell in love. Madly, deeply. Forever. But I can't say that love can truly exist without anybody else knowing about it. And I guess that's my biggest problem. Because if it wasn't for that belief, I never would have left. And she never would have let me. My heart forever belongs to her, and if there were such a thing, I would call her my soulmate. Emily Prentiss. Even saying her name tears me apart, but it needs to be said. Because this is our story.

a/n: not completely sure how far I'll get with this story. I basically have the whole premise planned out in my head already, but not sure how far I'll get with writing it out. So please r & r, let me know what you think, and if I should continue. I should also mention that this is my first fanfic in about 3 years, so bear with me if I screw up at times.


	2. First Glance

_8 months prior_

"JJ!" I turned at the familiar sound of Logan calling my name. "Wait up!" I pause on my way back to my dorm, waiting for him to catch up. "Any news?" he asks, knowing full well I had just returned from the mailroom after checking it yet again, as I had been doing almost religiously for the last week. All I could do was smile at him – there _had_ been a letter this time. His eyes widened and a grin threatened to crack his face in two. "Well? Did you get it or not?"

"I was gunna open it later, then tell you guys tonight when everybody's together for our last big hurrah. Can you wait?" I almost laughed out loud right then – Logan was definitely not known for his patience. Nothing like Dayan though, he never would have let me walk away without telling him. As bad as Logan can be, I'm definitely glad Dayan wasn't the one who caught up to me – Logan would at least let me walk away without forcing me to open the letter right then and there.

Looking at Logan, I see his face contort into a pout. "C'mon you can tell me, I promise not to say anything to the other guys…" I shake my head, a smile brightening my face yet again as he gently nudges me with his shoulder. I start walking towards his house, him following closely on my right.

"You know I can't do that. RJ would _never_ forgive me if I told someone else before him, even you." I guess you could call RJ my closest friend of sorts. He's the guy I've always found there whenever I needed him – whether I_ wanted_ him there or not. Especially after the first fiasco with Peter, he's the one who really understood what I was going through and didn't judge me for everything that happened after. RJ…RJ gets me. And he knows that whenever something big happens, I come to him first. Telling Logan what's in the letter currently stowed in the bottom of my bag before RJ wouldn't be right. And thankfully for me, Logan knows this.

"Fine, fine, I guess I can wait a couple more hours. Just promise me one thing, ok?" I look at him sideways, studying his face, looking for what he could be thinking. "Don't get too drunk tonight. No matter what happens. Please?" I sigh, letting out a deep breath of air.

"I promise. Tonight's a celebration. Either I'll be leaving for the chance of a lifetime, or I'll be living with you guys for an entire year, free to make your lives a living hell. No downside, right? Besides, you know I don't drink that much to begin with." He shot me a look that said what both of us were thinking – I didn't drink, unless something really big happened. And if it happened to be really big and really disappointing, I drank a lot more. And not getting this internship – not getting the chance to work for the FBI and the Behavioral Analysis Unit for an entire semester – would be a huge, _huge_, let down.

"I'll do my best. That's all I can promise. Are you finally going to drink tonight?" Logan also had this annoying moral code where he refused to drink before he turned 21, and then when he did come of age, he barely drank anyway, despite all of our best efforts to 'find his limit,' so to speak.

He smiled at me as he unlocked the door to his house. "Tonight's a cause for celebration whether or not you get what you want. It's the last night we'll all be together again for a whole three months, I think it's about time I found a drink I actually like. Besides, I'm tired of taking care of those guys every damn weekend. I think it's about time they took care of me. I'll see you tonight?" I laughed out loud then. He most definitely deserved a weekend of the guys having to take care of him, myself included.

"Of course. Whether or not the news is good, I'll be there." I waved goodbye as he walked inside, and then headed back towards my house, both hoping and dreading what was inside the envelope burning a hole through my bag. Unlocking my own door, I headed downstairs towards my room, heart beating faster now that I would have enough privacy to actually read the message.

I've always hated these types of things – wanting to know desperately what will happen next but not wanting to know all at the same time for fear of failure. And that's exactly how I felt with the letter in my hands, staring me down, begging me to open it. I knew I would have to, and a large part of me wanted to, but at the same time I was afraid of what could be written, afraid it would dash my every hope and dream. These types of moments don't happen all that often either. I remember only a few times before, the most recent being my acceptance to graduate school to study for the very thing I know faced. And each time I felt the same indecision I was feeling now.

I let out a deep breath and tried to focus. If I got in, if it really happened for me, my whole life would be changed. I'd be spending five months trying out what I wanted to do for the rest of my life, and could easily be disappointed. Not that I thought I would be. Working for the FBI has been my dream as long as I can remember. Studying the minds of criminals, trying to figure out what they will do next – it intrigues me. But the position I'm interested in is so much more. I would actually get the chance to warn the public about a predator using my own set of skills and knowledge – well, mine and the team's that is – and potentially save lives. I couldn't ask for more.

I'd also be leaving my friends – my family – for five whole months, with absolutely no opportunity to visit. Sure, I could still call, but nothing would beat our daily routines and our rowdy weekends. Nothing would beat nights remembered only through videos found the next day or holes in the walls that hadn't been there the night before. Or late nights talking with RJ and playing pranks with Logan on Dayan. Or catching Peter's eye and ending up together in his bed or in the shower yet again. I'd have to get my own place too, complete with all the appliances I currently took advantage of through the school. Not that any of that truly mattered in the face of what could potentially give me everything I ever wanted from life.

"Nothing for it now." I turned the letter over and in one smooth motion ripped open the top, pulling out the small slip of paper inside. Sighing, I unfolded the paper and started to read, heart beating faster with every second that passed and every word I read.

_Jennifer Jareau…congratulations…internship…accepted…five months…Quantico…Behavioral Analysis Unit…August through January…Aaron Hotchner._

I fell back onto my bed, staring at the ceiling, relief washing over me completely. I actually did it, I actually got into the FBI. Looking at the letter I read it again, reminding myself that this was really happening. Shaking my head in disbelief and relief I sat up again, staring at the wall across from me. Quantico, Virginia. Five months at Quantico, Virginia, under one Supervisory Special Agent Aaron Hotchner and the BAU. And for the few minutes I have left alone, life truly is as close to perfect as its ever been.

* * *

"Let me in you asshole." I stood standing outside of Logan's house – in the cold I might add – with Anthony grinning at me on the other side of the door. He finally came to the door after I had been standing there for a good five minutes, had rung the doorbell at least six times, and now wouldn't let me in. Typical. "Fine. I'll leave then and you won't know what the letter I got today said." Turning, I started walking back towards my own house.

"Aww, c'mon, you're no fun." I turned back and simply looked at Anthony who was half-hanging out the front door. "Well? Are you coming in or not?" Shaking my head I stalked back to the door and shoved past Anthony into the warm house.

"Asshole." I headed for the stairs knowing full well everyone else was downstairs just waiting for the celebration to begin, Anthony on my heels. "You know I hate it when you do that." And boy, did Anthony like to do that. Every time I see him on the other side of the door I know I'm not getting in, regardless of how good of friends we are. There have actually been a few times where I've walked away or called one of the other guys to let me in simply because he found it hilarious to make me wait or beg. And begging, that just wasn't me and never would be.

As I expected, everyone else was gathered downstairs watching TV and talking. Talking which promptly stopped once I got all the way down the stairs. Clearly Logan had opened his big mouth and told everybody I received the letter this morning, which in turn led to every one of them staring me down waiting for me to speak like I was some kind of dog. "What?" I said almost innocently, with a bewildered look on my face. A look they knew well no doubt, and a look that wouldn't fool a single one of them.

"JJ." I turned as RJ spoke and found an expectant look crossing his face. And a hopeful one as well. He wanted me to get this internship almost as badly as I myself wanted it and must be dying to know whether I did or not. We had spent more than a few nights talking about what it would be like if I got to spend four months in Virginia and what I wanted from it. And a few night talking about how much we would miss each other and our long talks.

"Oh, this?" I asked pulling the letter from my pocket. "Here. You can read it if you're so interested." I started handing it to him then pulled back just as he reached for it. "But only if Anthony apologizes for making me stand outside for the last, oh, eight minutes." I turned pointedly to Anthony, a smirk on my face, waiting for what had better be a good apology.

"Seriously? Fine, fine…" Kneeling down in front of me he grabbed my hands and kissed the back of each of them. "JJ, I sincerely apologize for locking you out in the _freezing _cold for an entire eight minutes. If you can only forgive me, I _promise_ to be your humble servant for the remainder of the night, no matter what you might desire." I looked over Anthony's head at Logan, who was nearly doubled over with laughter, and rolled my eyes.

"I'll hold you to that. Being my servant that is. Tonight's gunna be a _loooong _night Anthony, you'd better be ready. Here." I finally handed the letter to RJ, who eagerly reached for it, searching my face for any clue as to what it might say. He unfolded it, read the first line to himself, then repeated it out loud with a huge grin on his face before jumping up and hugging me tightly.

"You did it! Yeah, girl!" Everyone was congratulating me and trying to hug me all at once while I simply laughed and let them. Peter was the last to get a hold of me and we looked at each other for a moment, expectation written all over both of our faces. He enveloped me in a huge hug and whispered in my ear. "I'm so proud of you Jayj, I told you that you had nothing to worry about." Pulling back he looked at me again before continuing. "Let's celebrate tonight, I'll find you later?" Knowing full well what he meant, I nodded. And smiled. Tonight would definitely be a night to remember.

* * *

_September – 3 months later_

My first day at the BAU was like walking into a mall on Black Friday. Chaos. People everywhere. Hurried movement, ringing phones, files flapping and printers going. I knew I had to report to Aaron Hotchner, but wasn't completely sure where to find him in this maze. And maze it was, I had to duck through a dozen people just to get out of the doorway and a dozen more before I made it across the room. Not one stopped when I tried to ask for directions, as minor as they were. I knew Agent Hotchner would have to have an office, so heading in the direction of the offices I tried avoiding hitting anybody by accident. Until I walked straight into a tall brunette, and promptly bounced back and onto the ground.

"Shit! I'm sorry, here let me help you up." A hand reached out in front of my face and I grabbed a hold of it, still trying to recover from my hard landing. Getting to my feet I brushed myself off.

"Sorry about that, I'm a little lost…" And then I was staring into the most amazing set of deep brown eyes I had ever seen and literally stopped mid-sentence simply to stare.

"It's no problem, really. I should have been watching where I was going." She smiled at me and I somehow managed to catch myself before my eyes – and thoughts – latched on to those amazing deep red lips. "You're lost? Maybe I can help. Who are you looking for?"

"Um, Aaron Hotchner? I'm supposed to be reporting for duty and I can't seem to find his office." She smiled again, this time deeper, if that was possible. I could lose myself in that smile…

"You're the new intern, right? Hotch said to expect you today. I guess we'll be working together for the next few months. I'm Emily. Emily Prentiss." She extended her hand again. No ring – a good sign.

"Yeah, I'm the new intern. Jennifer Jareau." I grabbed her hand. "JJ." And smiled back at her. "Nice to meet you."

"Hotch's office is right up there." She pointed at an office on the second floor. No wonder I couldn't find it. Second floor my ass. "He should be here by now. If not, come find me, my desk is right over there." She pointed to a small cubicle just across the room. "I'll be there all day." Smiling, she walked away. I turned and watched her walk away before heading up to the office she pointed to. Working with her for the next few months was definitely going to be interesting. Or torture. It all depended on how fast I fell for her. Which I could already feel myself doing.

"Crap."


	3. Case 1

_Two weeks later_

"You can do this, you can do this, just concentrate." I was staring myself in the mirror in the bathroom of the BAU, about to present my first case to the team _on my own_. It didn't seem so hard when I was being trained by Agent Hotchner, or Hotch as he likes to be called, but now…"You can do this, JJ, just breathe." I usually don't have a problem talking in front of others, it's what I've always wanted to do and what I plan on doing for the rest of my life, but right now, it just seems like a terrible idea. Two weeks of preparation, and I'm still petrified of the idea of talking in front of the team and potentially screwing up or forgetting some important detail. That's definitely the type of thing I would do – forget something important.

So I splashed water on my face, tried to calm myself down somewhat, took a deep breath, and walked right into Emily Prentiss on my way out of the bathroom.

"Oops! Sorry Emily!" I sputtered out, heart racing all over again. _At least it isn't fear this time, stupid hormones_. "Definitely wasn't looking where I was going. Is the team ready for me?" I attempted a smile, but based on Emily's response it came out as more of a grimace.

"Are _you_ ready JJ? You seem a little…off." That wicked grin flashed across her face as she spoke in a teasing tone. Of all the people I had to run into, it had to be the one person who seemed in-tune to my emotions the most, and the one person I had a hard enough time being around. I looked down briefly before catching her eye again.

"Yeah, I'm ready. I think." She closed her eyes briefly then looked at me seriously.

"You'll do fine JJ. Just remember what's important and do your best. No one can ask for more." A brief smile on her part, and then she grabbed my hand and started walking towards the conference room. I prayed she hadn't noticed the shiver running down my spine at her touch. _Or the way my face changes when she's around_.

Much too quickly we were inside, and much too quickly I felt Emily releasing my hand to take a seat. I tried to ignore the slight disappointment at the loss of contact and picked up my file and the remote for the monitor before going to the side of the screen and starting.

"South Bend, Indiana. There has been a series of mysterious deaths in the past couple of weeks that seem to be linked through a series of different factors." The first set of slides came up on the screen, each depicting a different woman strewn awkwardly on the ground. "Each victim was brunette, close to 5'11'', and had her hair cut short, just above her shoulders. And each victim was missing the lower half of her right leg."

"Speaks to a sadistic nature. He's probably keeping the legs as trophies. And the physical description gives us a good start with victimology." Morgan jumped right in as I finished describing the victims and the disturbing ways in which they had been murdered and dismembered.

"He's probably relating each victim to a woman in his childhood, maybe a mother or sister. Some type of traumatic event must have taken place that he never got over." Reid threw in his two cents as well.

As everybody continued throwing ideas out there as to why the killer did what he did and took what he took I visibly relaxed, glad my part was over. Even knowing I would be fine, I was glad that the internal fear was dissipating. I grabbed a seat while the rest of the team continued talking amongst each other, throwing in my own opinion every once in awhile, and grew more excited at the prospect of actually getting a case and being in charge of it. Being trusted to be in charge of it, to an extent of course.

* * *

An hour later we were sitting on the jet, en route to Indiana. The team was sitting around a small table that had been installed, still talking about the case while I sat across the aisle loosely listening. I felt much more at peace than I had earlier, much more relaxed. Sure, I would have to face the media and the families of the victims, but for right now, all I had to do was listen and learn. I think presenting the case to the team was the hardest part – I had to see them all day, everyday. Talking to the public was much less formal and personal, and the families, I would never see again. And for the next few days, until we caught the bastard, I would take any free time, any chance I got, to just relax and breathe easy. At least as easily as I could while I had to room with Emily for the next few days.

Hotch had caught me after the meeting to tell me that because I was an intern, the Bureau wasn't going to pay for hotels for me. Which meant I either had to pay for my own room on every case, or room with someone else on the team. Lucky me, Emily is the only other female and the obvious choice for me for this case. Of course with the next few cases I would be able to ask for my own room, there just hadn't been time in between being assigned the case and having to present it to the team. So Hotch went ahead and booked a double for me and Emily. _Oh joy._

I still hadn't had a chance to talk to Emily about this unfortunately, and couldn't help but wonder what she thought – having to share her room. We were friends, obviously, but that didn't mean being forced to be around each other 24/7 would work. Especially with my current emotional upheaval that tended to occur whenever she looked at me, much less touched me. I honestly wasn't sure how I would react if she started changing in front of me. I mean, I know I can control myself – that's definitely not an issue – I just didn't want to ruin our friendship by having her catch me looking at her or realize what I was really feeling towards her. _Cold showers may just save me_. Besides, I liked my privacy and I was sure Emily did too. Most females do.

I looked over at the team only to realize they had stopped talking about the case and were now chatting aimlessly. Sighing, I stood up to grab a cup of coffee and settled in one of the back seats sipping at the cup and looking out the window, ignoring the chatter around me. Letting my mind wander again, I started wondering what my friends were up to. Not much could have changed from last year, except for my absence. We had all been friends for so long that those boys seemed set in their ways. A small smile crossed my face as I thought of Anthony and RJ pulling their usual antics around each other, hiding condoms in obscure places, scaring each other whenever possible, and drinking to any and every movie they could come up with rules for. I missed them so much.

"Hey." I looked up dazed as Emily sat down across from me. Totally unaware of my surroundings, she had surprised me. "You seem to be thinking good thoughts. Any desire to share?" A small grin creased her face as my eyes met hers.

"Oh nothing much. Just my friends and their wild ways." I smiled back at her, a sort of half smile, the kind you give when the other person has no idea what you're talking about.

"Mm, you must miss them. Gotta be hard being away for so long. Worth it, I hope." The half smile frozen on my face, I nodded.

"Definitely worth it. Every second." I sighed again and took a long sip from my coffee. "So, about this whole hotel situation…"

"Don't worry about it. Really. I was a little surprised when Hotch asked, but really it's no problem. Besides, it'll give me a chance to get to know you a little better. You could maybe tell me about those friends of yours."

"Hotch _asked_?"

"I know, surprising coming from him. It was more like a double-checking than asking, but still. It's something." I shook my head, grinning.

"Now that sounds more like him." She let out a small laugh, and I did everything I could to stop myself from staring at her beautiful smile.

"But really, I'm more than happy to share a room. It's only a few months. Hopefully you can deal with _me_ for that long. I haven't shared a space with someone for a long time, I might not be the best roommate." I cocked my head to the side, a confused look crossing my face.

"A few months? I know we're rooming together for this case, but Hotch told me that I could pay for my own room in the future if I wanted. I don't want to infringe on your space." She was giving me that 'are you serious?' look.

"You're going to pay for all of the hotels from now until January, on what money? You can't be making all that much as an intern. Hell, I couldn't even afford to do that on my salary, not with some of the hotels we get placed in. It wouldn't even be worth it. No, we're rooming together, and no complaints about my bad habits."

"I…" She gave me that expectant look next, knowing full well that she was right, and I was being stupid. "Thanks." She nodded and smiled again. I turned to look out the window again, wondering how I kept getting myself into these situations.

* * *

a/n so I was planning on making this chapter a whole lot longer but having multiple term papers due over the next few weeks has severely hampered the amount of time I've had to actually work on this story. So this is what I've done so far, and hopefully it makes a decent chapter.


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